There's never enough time.A/N:
The quote in italics is from an interview with Jack Kenny
, which inspired this little fic.“They’re just very close and they’re great, great friends and could it be more? Yes sure, in another world where they were doing other things, sure possibly. But frankly neither of them have time for a relationship, you know, with anybody.”
- Jack Kenny
Life goes on.
Myka wasn’t sure that things could ever go back to normal – and they don’t, not really – but artifacts just keep on causing trouble, without giving any heed to pain or grief, so the time for healing will simply have to wait.
They each deal with things in their own way, once things settle down a bit. Pete jokes; Claudia tinkers with everything she can get her hands on; Steve worries over Claudia; Artie alternates between his usual crotchety self and trying to hide away from them all; and Myka throws herself into her work.
It’s a veneer of normality to mask the pain. A band-aid trying desperately to hold everything together. But maybe if they all pretend that things are fine for long enough, then eventually things actually will be.
Myka has always found solace this way, keeping her mind busy with details or lost within the world of a book, and now is no different. She knows that if she wanted to talk about things, then she could easily find a welcome ear, but she’s never been one for really talking about her feelings all that much.
Besides, the only person she really has any inclination to talk to is… Well, it’s proven hard enough to find themselves in the same state, lately, let alone the same room.
All this work that Helena is doing for the Regents – Myka knows that it’s important, she really does, but she still can’t help but alternate between resentment and resignation. The former because, really, would it be so hard to just let Helena go back to being a regular agent like the rest of them? The latter because it feels like the universe just seems to have it out for the two of them, and there’s nothing that Myka can do about it.
Helena does come home every once in a while, a short respite between missions, but inevitably it’s either when Pete and Myka are out in the field somewhere or else are about to leave.
There’s always just enough time for a hug and a meal and a bit of a chat to catch up, and then one of them or the other is once again rushing out the door.
There’s never nearly enough time.
Not for what Myka wants; not for what she needs.
She has yet to voice it out loud, yet even to admit it to herself, but there’s this niggling thought in the back of Myka’s mind about what it is, exactly, that she really wants and needs. But there’s no time for that either.
Helena is Myka’s friend, and that’s all there is to it. There’s no time, and no point, to even think about anything else.
There’s a ping in Spencer, Iowa – something is making all the cats in town act up – and Artie has just finished briefing them on the situation when Helena walks in the front door of the B&B. Well, drags herself in, more like. Helena looks utterly exhausted.
But as she looks over and catches sight of Myka – their eyes are always drawn to each other, like magnets – Helena’s eyes light up and her mouth lifts into a warm smile, and Myka can feel her heart thump in her chest in response. Helena’s whole face – her whole demeanor, really – is transformed, just because Myka is there, and the curly-haired agent knows that she always reacts the same way.
There are bags under Helena’s eyes, and she looks to be in need of a nap, a shower, and a warm plate of food, but in that moment, Myka can find no other word to describe her but ‘beautiful.’
There’s still that artifact in Spencer, waiting to get snagged, bagged, and tagged, but suddenly, for what feels like the first time ever, Myka doesn’t want to drown herself in work anymore. She truly loves working for the Warehouse, but it’s these people, these wonderful people, who make it all worth it.
“Welcome home, H to the G!” Pete calls out, breaking the spell between them. Helena turns her smile towards the others, but it’s not quite the same one she offered Myka.
“I’ll join you all in a moment,” she says, “after I put my things upstairs.”
Her eyes meet Myka’s once more, before she turns to head up to her room. Myka can’t even wait a full minute, though, before she’s up and out of her chair with a mumbled, “Be right back.”
When Myka quietly opens Helena’s door, the other woman is facing away from her, her forehead resting heavily on the cold windowpane, her shoulders slumped. She jumps and turns, startled, when the door clicks shut once again.
For several long moments, they simply stare at one another from across the room, drinking each other in.
“How was your trip?” Myka begins lamely.
“Too long,” Helena replies with a shrug. “And now I suppose you’re on your way somewhere else?”
Myka nods, chewing lightly on her bottom lip.
There’s never enough time… Unless they choose to make time.
With a surge of false bravado, Myka strides across the room, stopping just inches in front of Helena, who instinctively straightens her posture, but does not move away.
“Helena, I…” Myka doesn’t really know what she wants to say. “Come with me?” she asks, before her brain can even catch up with her mouth. “I mean. Well. Assuming you can be allowed a few days off. I just. It’ll be a long drive, and…”
She takes a deep breath before forging on, but she takes half a step back so that she can stare down at the floor, too much of a coward to meet Helena’s steady gaze. “And I’m tired of empty hotel rooms, and I’m tired of you not being here, and I’m tired of pretending, even to – no, especially to – myself, that you’re nothing but a friend to me, and I’m just so damn tired of there never being enough ti-”
Myka squeaks in surprise as she’s cut off by the urgent press of Helena’s lips against her own. There’s a moment of stunned paralysis, before Myka sinks into the kiss, one hand landing on Helena’s hip as the other reaches to softly cup Helena’s jaw.
“Of course I’ll come with you,” Helena whispers against Myka’s lips, as if it’s as simple as that.
And Myka can’t help but laugh, then, because maybe it is as simple as that. She tilts her head forward to close that tiny bit of space between them, reclaiming Helena’s mouth.
Life goes on. And if they don’t do anything about this, then there will never be enough time.
But time is not the boss of them – certainly not of Helena G. Wells, time traveler – and they will make all the time they need.